I was going through some old emails, and found a conversation with my mother that I had typed up to send to a friend to share in my bafflement.
Mom and I had just watched a news segment about renting toys for children.
Mom: I don’t like that idea. If I had a child-
Ctina: Mom, you did have a child.
Mom: No, I mean if I had a CHILD-
Ctina: Mom. You DID have a child.
Mom: No, you don’t count.
Ctina: But I was a child at one point.
Mom: No, you don’t count. You’re HUGE. I mean a CHILD.