Meaning of Being a Grown-Up: Figured It Out

I realized that the true meaning of being an adult is just adding alcohol to all the things I drank as a kid.
-Juice
-Hot chocolate
-Eggnog
-Tomato juice
-Punch
-Soda
-Coffee? Did I drink coffee as a kid? Maybe in, like, seventh grade.


I keep half of my alcohol right in front of the knives, because apparently I don't understand safety.

I keep half of my alcohol right in front of the knives, because apparently I don’t understand safety.

That’s it. That’s the secret of adulthood. Being an adult is hard, but the universe has given us fermentation as a way of coping. As a child, you don’t need alcohol, because you have mystery and imagination. But 21 is around the age you graduate from college, which is about the time you realize that the world is difficult and your dreams don’t matter.

Hazelnut liqueur tastes great in hot chocolate made with vanilla almond milk!

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