Real advertisement from a Victoria’s Secret email:
Do you want to experience what it’s like to be a man and have some junk bouncing around your thighs when you run?
Do you lose things unless they are physically strapped to your body?
Do you want to be sexy and keep your loose change handy at the same time?
THEN SHAKE YOUR WHAMMY FANNY WITH THIS VICTORIA’S SECRET FANNY PACK.
…Actually, I do kind of want to bring the fanny pack back. See who my true friends are.