I don’t know about you, but I tend to use my Gmail drafts folder as a digital post-it idea wall. I also have a real post-it idea wall; however, I am not always near this wall. On occasion, I do leave my home. (Even though I did not do this today. It’s cold. No judging.)
So potential posts, info about literary agents, blog ideas I want to pitch… they all end up in the drafts folder. I’m generating ideas like gumballs pouring out of a broken machine. But. I. Just. Can’t. Get. The. Ideas. Out. Of. Drafts.
Maybe if I buy a box of Girl Scout Thin Mints and keep the cookies in the freezer. Then every time I post a blog, I get a cookie. This could work. IF I JUST KNEW SOME PRE-TEEN GIRLS.
Also, Thin Mints are officially vegan now:
As promised, the true story of the removal of my first three wisdom teeth. Broken down into pieces so I can get them out more easily. Just like the teeth themselves.
August of 2013. After taking an x-ray, my new dentist told me that–contrary to what I’d previously been told–I had wisdom teeth. And they were a mess. “Ratchet,” I believe the kids would say.
(But hydrocortisone is a close second.)
So after presenting a live bed bug as evidence that I am not a hypochondriac crazy person with skin issues, I talked to the apartment managers: THEY FOUND BED BUG GROUND ZERO.
THEY FOUND IT.
IT WAS APARTMENT 510.
(Above me and to the left. I’m 411.)
Apparently, the folks in 510 were crowding a bunch of people in their apartment. People they weren’t supposed to have there. And one of those people brought in a bed bug infested mattress. And then the infestation spread to the surrounding apartments.
I WAS TOTALLY RIGHT.
THE VINDICATION OF BEING RIGHT ALMOST TRIUMPHS THE ITCHINESS.
For some reason, I have no food, so I was thinking I would treat myself to some pizza. But what I SHOULD do is treat myself to some new blankets. My current blankets have slowly started deteriorating because of being thrown in the dryer on high heat so many times.
-Combines both childhood and adulthood interests.
-I’m pretty sure I had a crush on Rafael once.
-Can plan small gatherings where everyone bonds over their favorite turtle.
-Best to purchase now, before the Michael Bay movie drives up the price.
-Increases sophisication by preventing me from drinking my S’mores vodka straight out of the bottle.
-Conflicts with various attempts to pretend to be a serious grown-up.
-Reveals inner childhood anthropomorphic romantic attachments.
-Creates the potential for conflict if guests fight over their turtle of choice.
-Concerned that if the Michael Bay movie is awful (Megan Fox as April? Megan Fox? Really?), the shot glasses could turn into a source of anxiety.
-Can really only be used at events serving pizza.
Realistically, I’ve probably already earned my Responsibility Points by even creating a pro/con list in the first place.