Why a Full-Grown Woman Needs Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Shot Glasses: A Pro/Con List



-Combines both childhood and adulthood interests.
-I’m pretty sure I had a crush on Rafael once.
-Can plan small gatherings where everyone bonds over their favorite turtle.
-Best to purchase now, before the Michael Bay movie drives up the price.
-Increases sophisication by preventing me from drinking my S’mores vodka straight out of the bottle.


-Conflicts with various attempts to pretend to be a serious grown-up.
-Reveals inner childhood anthropomorphic romantic attachments.
-Creates the potential for conflict if guests fight over their turtle of choice.
-Concerned that if the Michael Bay movie is awful (Megan Fox as April? Megan Fox? Really?), the shot glasses could turn into a source of anxiety.
-Can really only be used at events serving pizza.


Realistically, I’ve probably already earned my Responsibility Points by even creating a pro/con list in the first place.